What Women Think of Premature Ejaculation?
Since every woman is different, there is no simple answer. What women think of premature ejaculation? Some don’t care. For others, it can be a big deal.
One study shows that women with a partner suffering from Premature Ejaculation tend to blame her partner for the dysfunction while those with a partner suffering from erectile dysfunction tend to blame themselves1. Still, that doesn’t mean that every girl blames their partner for it. In fact, there is not a lot of robust study on the subject.
What The Internet has to says
If you take a look at forums and Q&A sites, you’ll see how the answers vary. Take a look at this question on Quora or this Reddit thread. While some girls will answer that it bothers them, there is also some that say that they take it as a compliment, or that they don’t care as long as the men could please them otherwise. That brings us to another subject, directly linked to this one, and it’s how to deal with premature ejaculation.
The Big Deal is How You React to PE
One thing that seems unanimous when we look at forums or when I talk to women friends is that premature ejaculation is rarely a dealbreaker for women during the first encounters. If it becomes one some day, it’s because of the man’s reaction (or no-reaction) to his PE. Not only there are treatments for premature ejaculation, but there is also management techniques that can help you to live a healthy sexual and emotional relationship. That’s why I encourage you to take a look at the living with premature ejaculation page and to be proactive about your condition if you are suffering from PE.
How Not to Deal With PE
One thing we can take of women’s reaction to PE is that there are a lot of responses that they do not like. Ignoring the problem, being ashamed, avoiding sexual contacts and intimacy are all typical responses to premature ejaculation2. Those are reactions that can ruin your relationship or prevents you from developing one.
For example, premature Ejaculation affects self-confidence for a lot of men2, and the lack of confidence in itself could be more bothering for the woman than the actual premature ejaculation.
Which one do you think is sexier for a woman: a rapid ejaculator who is ashamed of his sexual condition and let something undermine his self-confidence or a confident guy who enjoy sexuality and is proud of it, even if it makes him cum quickly? A guy who’s depressed by his condition versus a guy who, when faced with a problem, works his ass off to find a solution?
The real question is not about what women think of premature ejaculation, but what women think about your reaction to premature ejaculation.
There is also another consideration to keep in mind.
What is PE anyway?
Yeah, do you ever asked yourself what is premature ejaculation? What women think of premature ejaculation depends on your definition of premature ejaculation. A girl might find an average penetration time of 2 min fine while you may think it’s too short. But if you always come under 30 seconds, the same girl may find it more problematic.
Penetration time isn’t essential for all
While the average and median sex time are around 5 mins, some girls enjoy marathon sex, other prefer quickies. For some girl, premature ejaculators are precisely what they are looking for. Also, being a rapid ejaculator do not necessarily undermine your ability to give your partner orgasms. Yes, some girl only swears by penetration, but for most, penetration isn’t the most reliable way to achieve orgasm. A study indicates that less than 20% of women could reach orgasm by penetration only (without clitoridal stimulation)3.
So while working on your attitude and looking for possible treatments, if I can give you one advice is to work on your other sexual skills. Premature ejaculation is not a good excuse to be bad in bed!
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
One last thing to keep in mind is that women have sexual problems too.
Two different studies surveyed the women partners of men with PE4. The researchers found in both studies that there is a more significant proportion of woman who has a sexual dysfunction on her own in the PE partners group. Depending if you’re an optimist or not, I can see two possible explanation:
- Men and woman who suffer from sexual dysfunction are better placed to understand each other. Thus, they accept more easily his/her partner sexual dysfunction and are less troubled by his/her partner dysfunction.
- Men and woman who suffer from sexual dysfunction are more reluctant to break a relationship that does not sexually satisfy them. Because of their lack of confidence, they may think it would be hard to find another partner who’ll accept his/her condition.
Personally, I think there is a bit of truth to both. I hope you are in the number 1 category because if it’s the case, your PE could be one of your sexual advantages.
So how much women suffer from sexual dysfunctions?
If you are single, you may fear the reaction of the girls you’re dating to premature ejaculation. You shouldn’t. I just want to quote a recent analysis published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine: “the prevalence of women who report at least one manifest sexual dysfunction is in the order of approximately 40% to 50%, irrespective of age”5. Yes, you’ve read it well, it could be as much as one out of two women that suffer from sexual dysfunction. That’s taken directly from a consensus statement from professionals who analyzed different study on the subject.
So next time you’ll meet a girl, tell yourself this: there’s a good chance that she’ll understand (at least a bit) what you are living. And on the other hand, you are probably better equipped to understand her than other guys.
- Graziottin A, Althof S What does premature ejaculation mean to the man, the woman and the couple, J Sex Med. 2011 Oct;8 Suppl 4:304-9. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02426.x
- Symonds T, Roblin D, Hart K, Althof S (2004) How does premature ejaculation effect a man’s life. J Sex Marital Ther 29(5):361–370, Porst H, Montorsi F, Rosen RC, Gaynor L, Grupe S, Alexander J (2007) The Premature Ejaculation Prevalence and Attitudes (PEPA) survey: prevalence, comorbidities, and professional help-seeking. Eur Urol 51(3):816–823
- Herbenick D, Fu TJ, Arter J, Sanders SA, Dodge B. (2017) Women’s Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94. J Sex Marital Ther. 2017 Jul 5:1-12. doi: 10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530.
- Riley A, Riley E (2005) Premature ejaculation: presentation and associations. An audit of patients. Int J Clin Pract 59:1482–1487, Hobbs K, Symonds T, Abraham L, May K, Morris M (2008) Sexual dysfunction in partners of men with premature ejaculation. Int J Impot Res 20(5):512–51
- McCabe MP, Sharlip ID, Lewis R, Atalla E, Balon R, Fisher AD, Laumann E, Lee SW, Segraves RT (2016) Incidence and Prevalence of Sexual Dysfunction in Women and Men: A Consensus Statement from the Fourth International Consultation on Sexual Medicine 2015. J Sex Med. Feb;13(2):144-52. doi: 10.1016/j.jsxm.2015.12.034.