Two techniques can make you last longer while getting head.
The first way to prolong things during oral is to reduce the level of genital stimulation. You can accomplish this by asking your partner to stimulate you differently. For example, your partner can avoid the most sensitive area of your penis. Another way to reduce the level of stimulation of a blowjob is to use a condom or an oral-safe delay spray. The second way to last longer is by learning how to modulate your arousal while your getting head. Some breathing techniques or couple exercises will help you accomplish this.
However, before we see those methods in details, it’s important to ask ourselves why do we want to last longer during a blowjob? Even if there are some decent reasons to last longer while getting head, in some situations, it’s better to end thing quickly.
Usually, How Long do Guys Last During Oral?
The first reason why you might want to last longer during oral is to be “normal.”
However, there is no standard about how long a guy should last during oral. Some men will come in seconds, others won’t even orgasm while getting head.
Also, the time you last during a blowjob will vary from times to times. Among other things, your level of arousal, the skills of your partner or how much drinks did you have will impact how long you last from times to times.
Unlike intercourse, no study has been made on the average sex time for blowjobs.
If we ask the internet, the answer will vary from 2 to 20 minutes. However, one takeaway we can get from internet forums is that the ones doing the blowjob generally prefer it when it doesn’t take too long.
For example, we can take this question asked in the /AskWomen subreddit as an example. Notice how most women mention that they prefer when things end rather quickly. That’s not that they don’t enjoy it, but long oral session can be tiresome.
How long should a guy last during a blowjob? from r/AskWomen
So, How Long Should I Last for a Blowjob?
The first question you have to ask yourself is not how long should you last during a BJ, but how long do you want to last.
During intercourse, how long you last will define for how long the rapport continues. If you come in less than a minute, maybe your partner would have preferred things to last longer.
However, when you’re getting head, your partner doesn’t necessary has a length preference. As we saw, because jaws can get tired, it’s possible that your partner wants you to come as soon as you can.
The Right Reason to Last Longer While Getting Head
Still, it’s likely that you want to last longer during a BJ because you find it enjoyable, and you want to prolong the pleasant sensation. We’re not talking about guys who already last 10 minutes and want to extend it for selfish reasons. We’re talking about men who can’t last more than a couple of minutes. If it’s your case, you would probably better enjoy oral if you could last a bit longer.
Also, there are some specific situations where you might want to last longer during head to please your partner too. For example, during a 69, it can be more enjoyable for a couple if the man can last long enough. By the way, we do have specific tips on how to last longer during 69 below 😉!
Still, you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself about stamina during oral. In the end, the only thing that matters is that both your partner and you enjoy the experience.
Is the BJ Part of the Foreplays, or Does Your Partner Want you to Come?
Now, I just want to clarify one thing. Normally, when you get a BJ (lucky you!), it can be in two different situations.
Oral can be performed only for the sake of it. In this case, your partner probably wants you to come. How long you last probably don’t matter much for your partner – as long as you don’t take forever. As we said, your partner might prefer if you orgasm fast.
In this case, the only reason why you would want to last longer is that you want to prolong the experience for your own pleasure.
The second situation is when the blowjob is part of the foreplays. In this situation, it can be essential to learn how to last. Indeed, oral sex is a nice foreplay. However, if you come as soon as your partner gives you head, that’s not an option for you.
How to Last Longer During Oral
So, if you want to know how to last longer while getting head, you first need to learn how ejaculation works.
Ejaculation is triggered when you meet a certain level of arousal. If you aren’t able to control your ejaculation during oral sex, it’s because oral make you reach your arousal threshold too soon.
The 2 Types of Arousal
As you can read on the Cum too fast? Lear Why page, there’re two things that we can call “arousal.”
The first one is your subjective impression of arousal. That how aroused you feel.
For example, you watch porn; you feel aroused. You saw your partner naked; you feel aroused.
Even if nobody touches your penis, you still feel excited. That’s what we call psychological arousal.
The second one is the physical aspect of arousal.
Think about something that isn’t arousing. For example, try to focus on your room ceiling. Then, start to touch yourself. Even if you don’t feel excited, and you do not have an erection yet, you can get one just by touching yourself. Eventually, with enough genital stimulation, you can even come without feeling aroused.
That’s the other side of arousal. We will call this the physical arousal. Even if you don’t feel “aroused,” the fact that your penis is stimulated can also make you come.
How Does Arousal and Ejaculation Work Together?
You can think of your arousal level like a bowl of water. Pass 100° C (or 212°F); water starts to boil.
In our case, the boiling point is the ejaculation point. We also call this the point of no return. Pass a certain level of arousal, ejaculation is triggered, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
If you want to last longer while getting head, you need to learn how to stop the heating during oral. You need to cool down your water when it’s close to the boiling point.
Stop the Heating
In our example, we compared arousal to a bowl of heating water. We saw that there are two types of arousal: psychological and physical. That’s the two fires heating your water.
The level of physical stimulation will be determined by your partner oral skills.
Usually, the pacing of oral sex is less stimulating than masturbation (unless you have a very passionate partner!). That’s why you’ll often see porn actors masturbate to be able to ejaculate at the end of an oral scene. Penetration, although some positions are more stimulating than others, also apply more pressure on your penis than oral sex.
So, if you can last long enough during masturbation and vaginal penetration, you probably don’t have any problems with physical arousal.
The reason why your water boils too soon is probably that you find oral too arousing (psychological arousal).
Still, there are some ways to reduce the level of physical arousal during a blowjob.
How to Reduce the Physical Arousal During Oral Sex.
Oral-Safe Delay Products
One of the best ways to reduces physical arousal is desensitizing PE products. Those products will desensitize some of your penis nerves.
When your partner tongue and lips stimulate your sex, your penis sends signals to your brain. In our analogy, those signal are the flames that heat our water.
With a delay product, since some of our nerves are asleep, it’s not all the signals that can reach our brain. It’s like if some of the flames are blocked.
The problem is, most of those products aren’t advised for oral sex unless you’re using a condom. There is an exception though. Promescent is an oral-safe premature ejaculation spray.
Promescent, unlike other sprays, can be fully absorbed by the skin. That’s what makes Promescent oral safe. Also, since it’s fully absorbed, Promescent will numb the inner nerves. That means that you will still feel what your partner is doing. Other delay sprays rest on the skin surface, so they make you last longer, but you don’t feel anything. That’s not the case with Promescent, because it acts on a deeper level.
Use a Condom
Speaking of condoms, it can also be an option to last longer. On top of protecting you against STDs, a condom will also act as a barrier to stimulation. Therefore, you should last longer with a condom on.
That is especially true if you use a premature ejaculation condom that contains benzocaine. Alternatively, you can also use a non-oral-safe delay product under a condom.
Clearly, there are two downsides to this. First, some people just don’t like performing oral if their partner is using a condom. Even if there are flavored condoms specially designed for oral, some just don’t like it. Second, unlike Promescent, your penis will be all numbed by this solution. So, you will not feel what your partner is doing, and the blowjob will be less pleasant.
Work With Your Partner
Finally, if the physical stimulation of oral is too much for you, you can ask your partner to reduce the level of stimulation. You can suggest her to reduce her blowing or stroking pace, to take some pauses, or to focus on less sensitive areas.
For example, if you feel you’re close to coming, you can point her to the penis shaft or to your testicles. They are less sensitive than your glans, your foreskin or your frenulum.
The other fire that’s heating your arousal is mental. That’s the psychological aspect of arousal.
Does fellatio particularly arouse you?
We all have our fantasy, and if oral sex is something that really turns you on, it’s possible that just thinking about receiving head heat your water too much.
For example, let say that for most guys, when a girl goes down on them, their arousal pass from 50°C to 60°C (on our water/arousal scale). If oral excites you more than others, your arousal will pass from 50°C to 80°C. You will have less room than other to reach the point-of-no-return (100°C).
How to Reduce the Psychological Arousal During Oral Sex.
They are several ways to learn how to control your arousal. Sex therapy is probably the best. However, it can be costly. That’s why you may want to try other methods first.
Some premature ejaculation exercises have been developed over the years to help men control their arousal. You can try those home exercises and adapt them in a way where you imagine oral sex scenes while you practice them.
You can even perform those exercises with oral sex porn videos to train you. Some training unit can also mimic the sucking effect of a blowjob. You can incorporate a unit like this in your exercises.
Eventually, if you have a partner and she’s willing, you could do those exercises together in real oral sex situations.
Reduces the Temperature
If you want to prevent the water from boiling, you can reduce the heat. Yet, we can’t stop completely all the flames – sex won’t be fun if we can’t be aroused!
That’s why you also want to be able to cool down the water. If you put an ice cube in your water, it will reduce its temperature, even if the flame is still on. Alternatively, you can also extinguish the flame. By switching off the heating, your water will cool down by itself.
The first way to reduce the temperature is by stopping all stimulation for a specific time. It’s the based of the exercises that we linked below. That’s the stop-start principle.
If you partner takes some break during oral, you will have enough time to catch your breath and let the arousal come down. The best way to do this is to focus on your breathing during those breaks.
Some guys can develop skills that will allow them to reduce their arousal level while still getting stimulated. That’s the equivalent of adding the ice cube to our hot water.
Breathing techniques, meditation exercises, and PC muscles relaxation could help achieve this. Some forms of sex therapies, like the Functional-Sexological Approach, focus entirely on this.
How to Last Longer During 69
As we mentioned, one particular form of oral sex where stamina can be valuable is 69.
It can be a bummer to come before your partner during a 69. Yet, 69 is probably one of the most arousing types of oral sex. The fact that your partner is stimulated while she/he performs oral make it even harder to last.
The ways to last longer during a 69 are the same than regular oral. All the tips above also applied to 69.
For 69, Focus on the Physical Aspect
However, since it’s hard to control psychological arousal in a 69, it can be a good idea to work on physical arousal here.
As we mentioned, an oral-safe lidocaine spray like Promescent can reduce the level of genital stimulation that you receive during a 69. If you always come before your partner, that’s an option worth considering.
The other way to reduce the physical arousal during oral is to ask your partner about reducing the level of stimulation. If one partner always comes before the other during a 69, you can give some tips yo your partner on how to do a worse blowjob!
Your partner will have to stimulate less sensitive parts of your penis during the 69. The glans and foreskins are the places that make you come. When you feel close to the point-of-no-return, you might want to signal it to your partner so she/he can leave those parts alone for a bit.
Finally, it’s important to note that although coming together during a 69 is the dream, it won’t always happen. Since everyone’s sexual response is different, some are quicker than others, it can be hard to orgasm together.
Those tips are meant to help you prolong your 69, but it doesn’t imply that you both have to synchronize your orgasm. It’s also okay if one comes before the other, and the 69 ends in solo oral. That’s a subject you should address with your partner.
Here again, it’s important to speak with your partner. Just like any other sex act, 69 can be enhanced by a good communication.
September 6, 2018 @ 12:51 pm
I have had sex in the past where my partner would perform oral sex on me (not to orgasm just stimulation) and I found myself able to last longer when I actually penetrated them. I did not have the impending feeling of wanting to cum too quickly. I have had problems with meeting a sexual partner and the anxiety of PE caused caused me to experience ED. I just ended up not able to penetrate my partner. It was very frustrating. I have purchased some penile constriction rings and they have seemed to help with not worrying about PE since I can still maintain a firm erection even after orgasm.