Edging is one of the best ways to last longer in bed without drugs. When I first tried to overcome my premature ejaculation problem, it was the first step I’ve followed. Although edging exercises aren’t magic bullets, I think it’s where any man that wants to last longer should start.
Sex therapists use the principle of edging in behavioral therapies since the 50s. In fact, it was the first therapy developed for PE.
Even if it’s not as effective as some other PE medical treatment, a recent study confirmed that it’s still an effective way to last longer1. Personally, I think that any other premature ejaculation treatment won’t be as effective if they aren’t combined with some edging exercises first.
In this text, I’ll share with you how edging helped me, and I’ll give you some tips to increase the efficiency of your edging practices.
What Is Edging?
The goal of edging is to modulate your sexual response to delay and amplify your orgasm.
The core principle of edging consists of taking pauses during sex to prolong the experience. When you edge, you have to stop any sexual stimulation before you reach a point of no return, where orgasm is inevitable. You can only resume stimulation when you feel that the urge to ejaculate has passed. After a couple of pauses, you can go all the way and let yourself come.
For example, a man who wants to edge during masturbation would have to masturbate until he’s close to ejaculating. When he feels he’s close to orgasm, he has to stop his masturbation before he gets to a point where the ejaculation is inevitable. Then, he takes a break of a minutes or two. During this break, he can focus on his breathing and let the arousal comes down. He can only resume his masturbation when he feels that he’s no longer close to orgasm. During an edging session, you only let yourself orgasm after a couple of those breaks.
How Edging Can Make You Last Longer in Bed
Edging has two different purposes. First, it can make your orgasm more intense. That’s the principal reason why some women edge too. The fact that they can come close to climax, but are deprived of their orgasm, create a kind of sexual frustration that makes the orgasm more intense when they are finally relieved.
Although stronger and deeper orgasms are nice side effects, it’s not necessary the main reason why most guys edge.
The stop-start edging process described below is the base of behavioral therapy for premature ejaculation. Even men that do not suffer from premature ejaculation can learn to last longer in bed with some simple edging training.
Edging has been used by sex therapist to treat premature ejaculation for more than 50 years. Its efficacity is documented in several studies2.
The goal of edging is to change our sexual response. Sex therapists often ask their patients to visualize their arousal level on a scale of 1-to-10. Point 10 is where to ejaculate. Point 9 is your point of no return. If you get to point 9, you will inevitably go to point 10. If point 5 is where you have a complete erection, the goal is to say between point 6 and 8 as long as we want.
In a perfect world, our arousal response would look like this
The problem is men who ejaculate quickly race from 0 to 10 in a short time. It can take a minute or two (even less in some cases) for premature ejaculator to reach their point-of-no-return.
But we don’t live in a perfect world. So that’s how a premature ejaculator’s response looks like.
The pauses that you force upon yourself during edging let you navigate in the 6-to-8 sweet range.
That’s what your arousal response looks like when you do edging.
With time and practice, the time required before you have to pause will lengthen, and your sexual response will start to look like our ideal plateau response.
With time and practice, that’s how edging will make you last longer in bed.
Edging Techniques to Last Longer
As we said, edging techniques are typically used inside a behavioral sex therapy. The edging methods have been developed and refined by sex therapists over the years. If you go to a sex therapist to treat a premature ejaculation problem, your therapist will probably ask you to perform edging exercises.
If you don’t want to consult a therapist, it’s possible to apply the same behavioral principle at home on your own.
The goal of this kind of treatment is to habituate your body to a more extended period of stimulation. To do so, we begin with easier edging exercises first, and we escalate with more stimulating edging techniques later.
Edging During Masturbation
The first step is to introduce the edging principles into your masturbation routine.
At first, you have to masturbate until you feel close to orgasm. Then, you need to pause the masturbation before you ejaculate. You can’t resume the masturbation until you feel less aroused and your excitation dropped. Generally, it takes one to two minutes for your arousal to comes down. Then, you can resume your masturbation until you feel you’re getting close again to ejaculate.
During a single masturbation session, you have to do at least two pauses before you let yourself come. If it takes you less than two minutes to reach the point where you have to pause, you can do 3 pauses by session instead of two.
Those breaks during masturbation will help you gain a better understanding of your arousal response. You will train your mind and body to experience more extended phases of stimulation. This training will eventually help you last longer in bed.
At first, you should perform the exercises without any erotic stimulation. That means no porn, no fantasies, no erotics thoughts. After a couple of edging sessions, you should see some progress, and it should take more time before you have to pause.
Spice Up The Edging
When you are able to last as long as you want during everyday masturbation, you can try more complexes techniques. The goal is to perform the same “stop-start” edging sessions, but with a higher level of difficulty.
You can now allow yourself to have erotics thoughts during masturbation. You can also increase the level of difficulties by using a warming lubricant during masturbation.
When those steps are easy for you, you can increase the level of stimulation by using a premature ejaculation training unit instead of your bare hand.
Edging with Your partner
If the first step in edging is generally masturbation, edging can also be performed during oral, vaginal or anal sex.
For most people, it’s better to start alone during masturbation. Not only the level of stimulation is less intense, but you don’t have the pressure of performance that some men might feel during sex with their partner.
However, when you master it in masturbation, you can try it with your partner.
If your partner is willing, you can ask her/him to participate in your masturbation exercises. Your partner can masturbate you, and you tell her/him when to stop. Alternatively, you can also both masturbate in front of each other to make the exercises a bit more exciting (and tougher) than solo masturbation.
When you last long enough in masturbation, you can try to edge with the form of stimulation where you are less in control. For example, a guy that can’t last during head could try edging during oral sex. He just has to ask his partner to stop the stimulation and take a pause when he’s feeling close to his point of no return.
Finally, edging can be performed during intercourse too. The same principles apply. When you feel close to the point-of-no-return, you need to stop the thrusting for a minute or two. If intercourse is a difficult step for you, you should start with PE-friendly sex positions.
Girl-on-top position are excellent sex position to start edging with a partner during intercourse
What If I Don’t Want to Take Pauses During Intercourse?
If the fact of pausing the act seems disturbing for your partner or you, there are ways to integrate it in the normal flow of things. No one said that you have to stay immobile and do nothing during those breaks.
You can benefit from those resting moment to kiss, hug or caress your partner. The goal is to continue to stimulate her/him with your hand, your lips or both. You can do anything, as long as you are able to calm your arousal during this pause.
Another natural way to include those pauses is to switch position. Switching position often force us to stop the penetration for a short period. Those couple of seconds can sometimes be enough to catch your breath and calm yourself.
Trust me, even if it can seem weird to take pauses, in the end, it will make the experience more enjoyable!
Possibles Difficulties
Not Knowing When You’re Close to the Point-Of-No-Return
Some men can have trouble to identify the point-of-no-return. If you stop too late, edging won’t work.
If you still feel the urge to ejaculate when you resume your masturbation after a stop, it’s because you’ve stopped too late. Next time, you’ll have to pause a bit sooner.
Learning to visualize your arousal level on a 1-to-10 scale, as we explained above, will help you to identify the right point where you should stop. You can have more explanation on how to do it here. Also, there is some online program with email support that can guide you through the edging process.
If you fail to see progress, you can also seek the help of a certified sex therapist. Accredited sex therapists have a lot of experience in guiding men trough edging exercises. Also, most sex therapists use a different type of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy. While this type of treatment includes the edging principles of standard behavioral therapy, it also addresses the psychological aspect of PE.
Getting Aroused Before It Starts
Another possibility why edging doesn’t work for you is that you might be too excited before you start to masturbate. Men who suffer from severe cases of PE can be aroused just by thinking that they will have sex.
In some cases, consciously or not, your brain can initiate the ejaculation reflex even before you begin your masturbation. Just the fact that you know that you will masturbate can be enough to trigger some arousal.
If it’s your case, when you start to masturbate, you’re already close to your point-of-no-return. That’s why edging might not work. If this is your case, the best thing you could do is meditate before your edging sessions. With mindfulness meditation, you will calm your body and mind, and you should be able to complete your edging session.
Medical Checkup
If edging still doesn’t seem to help you, there is another possible explanation. Premature ejaculation has a lot of different causes. Some of them, like prostatitis3 or hyperthyroidism4, are medical conditions that require treatment.
That’s why I recommend every man that suffers from serious premature ejaculation (based on the ISSM definition) to consult a physician. Of course, it’s easier if you live in a place of the world where you can consult a doctor for free. Anyhow, if you’ve tried different PE treatment without success, you should talk to a general physician or a urologist about it.
Can Edging Really Make Any Men Last Longer?
Although some guys will benefit more than other from edging, anyone who does edging the right way should last longer in bed. As we mentioned, sex therapists use edging exercises routinely to treat patients that suffer from premature ejaculation. It’s the first-line treatment option recommended for most cases of PE.
The first behavioral therapy plan has been developed in the 50s by a researcher named James Semans.
Several therapists and researchers, like Masters and Johnson in the 70s, refined the technique over the years.
The first studies on the benefits of edging showed incredible results. Semans reportedly cured all his test subjects of premature ejaculation5. Two decades later, Masters and Johnson successfully treated 97.8% of their patients6, and Kaplan, another sex therapy pioneer, estimated that 90% of PE cases could be treated with edging-like behavioral therapy7.
However, more recent studies show more mitigated results. Yet, all the studies show that most men can benefit from edging. For example, recent research conducted at UQAM University in Montreal showed an average 8.5 increase in penetration time for people who followed an edging therapy plan8.
My Personal Story with Edging
Like most men, when I finally decided to take action to overcome my rapid ejaculation, I asked Google. That’s where I learned about the stop-start method, the squeeze technique, and all the other premature ejaculation exercises.
Since I was a severe lifelong premature ejaculator, I had no success with edging at first. It took me only a couple of seconds to reach the point where I needed my first pause. I edged each time I masturbated, but I saw no progress.
I finally decided to consult a sex therapist. My therapist asked me to perform mindfulness meditation before each training session. Also, she asked me to not think about anything erotic at first.
Those two simple tips get me going. I finally saw progress, and I learned how to masturbate for more extended periods of time.
Why Edging Was the First Step to Overcome My Premature Ejaculation
Personally, I think that any man that wants to last longer in bed should start with edging exercises. Edging is a free, safe and natural way to last longer.
Of course, there are quick fixes. A lidocaine spray like Promescent will make you last longer instantly. Some drugs show a stronger delay effect. However, a man will benefit more from those treatments if he did some edging exercises first.
I have nothing against medical treatment for PE.
I mentioned above that edging helped me to last longer. However, even after doing edging exercises, I was still not able to last in certain situations. During intercourse, I always felt too much genital stimulation to last longer than a minute. The same was true when I trained with a masturbator.
That’s why I decided to consult a physician. I’m now on a low dosage of SSRI. I also use lidocaine sprays sometimes when I feel too aroused and know that I won’t be able to last.
However, I did the edging first. If I hadn’t followed a behavioral therapy before trying the medical stuff, I wouldn’t have as much control over my ejaculation. If today I’m happy about how long I last, it’s because I combine edging with the medication and sprays. I don’t think I would be as satisfied that I am with my sex life if I tried the medical solution without any edging training.
Things That Can Help You to Edge Successfully
Track Your Progress
One of the main problems of edging is that it required dedication. If you only edge 10% of the time you masturbate, you won’t progress. If you really want to last longer in bed, you need to commit to an edging schedule.
One of the best ways to stay motivated is to track your progress. If you see you get better each week, it will be easier to practice edging regularly. One good way to do this is to use an online therapy service like Between Us Clinic PE program. On top of keeping track of your progress, Between Us Clinic will give you specific edging exercises and its algorithm will tell you when you should pass to the next tasks. If you’re stuck on a step, you can also take advantage of their email support.
Between us Clinic PE Program is also based on edging
Certified Therapist
Still, the best way to stay committed is with the help of a professional. With regular visits to a certified therapist, you’ll have no other choice than to do the exercises.
The therapist can also adapt the exercises to your own situation. However, sex therapists’ fees are quite expensive. If you’re able to afford it, sex therapy with a certified therapist is probably the more efficient way. If you’re on a tight budget, a service like Between Us Clinic remains a good compromise.
Edging with a Delay Product
Men who are sensitive to genital stimulation doesn’t take a lot of time to reach their point-of-no-return. If it’s your case, you have to pause early on. Men who feel they have a hypersensitive penis can benefit from delay products. Delay products are local anesthetics in spray, gel or cream format. A product like Promescent, a lidocaine spray, can reduce your penis sensitivity and prolong the time it takes to reach the point-of-no-return.
Edging with a Vibrator
As we mentioned, over the years, several therapists and sex researchers refined the way men could edge to last longer. A medical doctor name Andy Zamar, who is the founder of The London Psychiatry Centre, recently developed a new device to help men who suffer from PE.
It’s invention, a handheld vibrating device is designed to stimulate the most sensible part of the penis during masturbation. Based on some research, by edging with this device, you increase the efficiency of traditional edging exercises9.
The vibrator, named Prolong, will gradually desensitize some of the penile nerve endings during your edging sessions. You can learn more about Prolong in our review here.
Prolong combine a vibrator to the basic edging principles
Bonus Tip: Edging Earlier in the Day to Last Longer
One of the oldest tricks in the premature ejaculation book is to go for a second round. As you probably know, after an ejaculation, men enter a phase called the refractory period. During this phase, it’s harder to get an erection. However, if you can get up during your refractory period, you will last longer than usual.
That’s why some men try to masturbate a couple of hours before having sex. However, we do not always plan sex. It can be hard to find the right moment to masturbate. The farthest away you are from your last ejaculation, the less your refractory period will help you to last longer. On the other hand, the older you get, the tougher it gets to have an erection during the refractory phase.
One way to kill two birds with one stone is to edge every morning. By committing to a morning edging session, you make sure that you follow a masturbation routine. That address the potential problem of not edging frequently enough.
By edging every morning, you also ejaculate every morning. So, if you have sex later in the day, you’ll still feel the effect of your refractory period. Yet, unless your sex session happens in the morning, you shouldn’t have any difficulties to get erect, since some time will have passed.
Reference
- De Carufel F, Trudel G (2006) Effects of a new functional-sexological treatment for premature ejaculation. J Sex Marital Ther 32(2):97–114
- Semans JH (1956) Premature ejaculation: a new approach. South Med J 149:353–358, Masters WH, Johnson VE (1970) Premature ejaculation. In: Masters WH, Johnson VE (eds) Human sexual inadequacy. Little, Brown and Co, Boston, De Carufel F, Trudel G (2006) Effects of a new functional-sexological treatment for premature ejaculation. J Sex Marital Ther 32(2):97–114
- Liang CZ, Zhang XJ, Hao ZY et al (2004) Prevalence of sexual dysfunction in Chinese men with chronic prostatitis. BJU Int 93:568–570 Screponi E, Carosa E, Di Stasi SM et al (2001) Prevalence of chronic prostatitis in men with premature ejaculation. Urology 58:198–202 Shamloul R, el-Nashaar A (2006) Chronic prostatitis in premature ejaculation: a cohort study in 153 men. J Sex Med 3:150–154
- Carani C, Isidori AM, Granata A (2005) Multicenter study on the prevalence of sexual symptoms in male hypo- and hyperthyroid patients. J Clin Endocrinol Metab 90:6472–6479
- Semans JH (1956) Premature ejaculation: a new approach. South Med J 149:353–358
- Masters WH, Johnson VE (1970) Premature ejaculation. In: Masters WH, Johnson VE (eds) Human sexual inadequacy. Little, Brown and Co, Boston
- Kaplan HS (1974) The new sex therapy. Brunner/Mazel
- De Carufel F, Trudel G (2006) Effects of a new functional-sexological treatment for premature ejaculation. J Sex Marital Ther 32(2):97–114
- Zamar, A. (2012). Premature Ejaculation: A New Treatment Using A Stimulating Device In Conjunction With The Start- Stop Technique. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 9. 217-217.
